“‘Soulmates’ is not a physical thing, it’s a connection in which you are the same idea on a higher plane, and your interaction, that connection, is a conversation between the idea and this world.
It is disrespectful to bring that down to a romantic level.”—Sara, in summation
It’s because it makes it less about that incandescent moment in which two spirits are kindling to each other and providing the catalyst to change, a moment which is not bound by time, and frequently ignores it. People who are part of you on that spiritual level come in many iterations, and may span moments or entireties, but are always a part of your experience and shape in that otherworldly sense.
To make it about romance or singular humanity, it devalues these connections between twain souls that come in all forms. It makes it about possession, and safeguarding, rather than sharing. It creates unhealthy ideals for one person to fill each space, and create each conversation in that exchange of ideas with the universe. It removes the dynamic energy of perpetual motion inherent to successful, creative love and replaces it with stillness, and promises of forever spoken in words meaning never, and phrased in a false positive-the negativity that comes with a denial of everything but that one connection. Love seeks not to possess, for love is sufficient unto love.
When brought as a romantic ideal, or a justification for monogamy in a romantic sense, the idea of soulmates scares me. What do you do once you’ve said it, and been separated? Then must you accept that either the concept fails, you were wrong about that connection and it was insufficient or unimportant, or you are broken forever? Those are things impossible for me to accept. I don’t think that makes me aromantic though, in that it makes me more romantic. I believe in infinite love in infinite incarnations. What’s more romantic than that?
i feel like being trans is something we are so violently pushed away from that i really dont see a cis person just idly musing abt “hmm maybe im trans” like just recognizing it as something thats on the range of maybe possible is tough 2 do against all the things shouting no at u
I promise there are cis people who have thought that. All of my closest friends and I have had this conversation. The other people I’ve talked to are generally trying to be respectful of trans space and trans voices, to not invalidate the privilege that we have, or add to the stigma or misconception that gender identity is “confusion” or something you’ll “get over.” I personally identify with a lot of gender issues, as I struggled coming into my femininity and being accepted as femme, and identified as genderqueer for much of my adolescence. I still have trouble seeing myself as “woman” “girl” or “feminine.” I avoid all single gender faab situations, only recently began using “women-only” spaces like bathrooms/locker rooms/changing rooms. I always felt like an imposter in school trip hotel roooms/sporting events/ etc. I routinely misgender myself as one of the guys when people talk about masculine behaviors/etc. My discomfort with being labeled “woman” is physical and obvious. However, I enjoy most of the trappings of feminine presentation, and feel very at home in my own appearance now. I don’t know what that makes me, but I definitely have cis privilege, and would be id’d by others as cis. So I don’t talk about it, because I don’t want to take away from trans narratives.